Oluwatosin Fatoyinbo: Trajectory Episode 3

In that instant, my mind attempted to conjure up why her dad will require the services of a blogger, from my research her dad was one of the top businessmen in the country. He has chains of businesses within and outside the Nigeria. His advertising agents probably rake in millions of naira annually for their services, so why would he require the services of a bloody blogger with some followers on Facebook and Twitter unless of course he is……

“Yes and he asked specifically for you”

“That’s impossible, does he even know me?

She smiled. So beautiful!  My brain registered again. “You underrate yourself my dear, you really do. Daddy is on Twitter and because you tweet for corporate organisations, he knows you. One lesson, in life you don’t know who is watching you”

I was stunned but still didn’t believe her; it was difficult for my mind to picture a multi-millionaire following my work on social media. I would have known haba!  It’s not true. A big man following you and you won’t know?  His account would definitely be verified and I always check out the profile of verified users who follow me. I have influential business men following me and retweeting me though none of them even come close to Chief Alabi and that’s because I did one work or the other for them for some ‘chicken change’. Most of them refused to even pay believing that retweeting me should be sufficient for my effort. What a bunch of losers.

If Chief Alabi was following me, I would have known.  But again he might be using an unverified pseudo handle; I know a lot of men of high standing in the society who are on twitter. They stalk timelines in search of things with which they could freeze or fry other users. Once I had helped uncover a tyrannical University Vice-Chancellor who uses his students’ tweet as grounds for instigating disciplinary actions against his students. The students kept wondering who the ‘Judas’ among them was, until we found out it was a handle used by the VC. He would often join the hashtag #VCmustgo and send out tweets receiving thousands of retweets from the tired and frustrated students. Such is the nature of things on Twitosphere.

“What are you thinking about” she must have been studying me as I quietly reflected.

“Does he have a pseudo account?

“Something like that”

“What’s the handle?

“Come on, you know I cannot tell you except you agree to work with him”

“Who is he spying on?

“Oh Etuhu, you aren’t new to this are you? He has used it to conduct some one or two opinion polls. Twitter has become like a market place for young Nigerians. It has different type of people with different idiosyncrasies and differing opinions”

“Why are you speaking English Lady? I tried to lighten things up; it was a failed attempt as I noticed I was beginning to crawl under her skin. I was unnecessarily getting too familiar. “I should stop questioning you; what does he really need me for?

“You will have to hear it from the horse’s mouth so if you are interested I can set up a meet. What do you say?

“That’s fine with me?

“Great. I will get back to you” she said. “Denis” she called out to a waiter. It was obvious she was a frequent customer from the way he rushed down to our table.

“Yes Ma’am”

“Please attend to my friend here, bill is on me” turning to me she said “Order whatever you want ok, I have to leave now if you don’t mind”

“Its fine, we will see later”

“Meanwhile I expect to see some work this evening”

“Definitely, watch my handle tonight. You will be wowed”

And she walks beautifully too, my brain registered as I kept my eyes on her, watching her walk away.

“Etuhu, the twitter Lord” someone’s voice brought me back to reality. I noticed it was Denis the waiter. The look on my face must have told him I was lost. “Haba, half the people behind those phone and Ipad buttons have seen one or two pictures of the famous Etuhu now. Don’t look so surprised” he added.

“Denis, this Bros no dey always remember say Twitter na big thing for Nigeria now. People treat you like some celebrity even if you no get ‘shingbai’ for pocket”

“Na true sha, I was expecting you to come with a ride when Madam told me she was meeting with you. As I con see you dey waka dey sweat, my mind tell me say this guy na hustler. But I am sure the story is about to change”

“Why you talk so?

“You met Miss Modupe Alabi, that’s enough”


“Anyways, I enjoy and respect the mind behind @Etuhu and it’s great to finally meet you. Remember the time you did a survey of the best restaurants on the Island and a certain @BabaDee disagreed?

“Yeah I cannot forget that convo, it was one of the best I had last year. BabaDee is Baba Denis?

We laughed and went over the incident again.  I was running a media blast for a newly renovated hotel, restaurant and bar at the time. Not many people had as much details and experiential knowledge on hoteling and hospitality business in Lagos as @BabaDee so I engaged him. He gave a ranking totally different from mine placing my client close to the bottom of the rung. I had to earn my fee so I strongly disagreed with him and we went on and on for days. No victor no vanquished.

“No wonder you just dey spill facts anyhow, na correct restaurant you dey work”

“Now you know” he replied laughing.

Can I ask you something?


“Is my Madam recruiting you?

“It depends on what you mean o”

“Abegi, we both understand, look I want to join your team. I need a break from serving tables and all. She pays us well o, so no be that……”

“Wait a minute” I cut in. “She owns this place?

He looked around and nodded “But people don’t know”

“Why you con tell me?

“You be correct person now”

“Oga no dey trust people anyhow like that o. Na Lagos you dey no be your bush village” I replied with another round of laughter.  “But seriously you said something about my team, what team?

“It’s a social media team, political media blast and all”

“What? I don’t do political shit now. How many times have you read tweets on politics emanating from my handle?

“Oga forget that thing o. Think about it. You can make your money from here. You have sweated enough for these corporate organisations. You no even get car, I have a car and planning on getting my wife one at the end of the month simply from serving the Alabi family and especially Madam. You are not doing anything illegal now. Oh come off it” he spoke like we had known each other forever. I took a long at him; somehow I felt I could trust him, I felt I could trust a complete stranger. Life can be funny though.

“So is Chief Alabi running for Governor or something? I asked.

“Not really”


to be continued….

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