Makinde Sinmiloluwa Victor: THE BUTCHER’S LOVE LETTER II (Sikira replies)

LOVE LETTER II

Alaba Eleran,

I saw the ‘leta’ you sent luku ‘olokada’ to give me. It take a while to get through it, I have tell you many many times to stop using oyinbo for me. It was Rhoda who manage read am for me. Even now, it is she that is righting the leta. First, i was catch by fear because i thought you wanted to tell mama Agba that i did not pay your meat money. But when i saw what it was about, my mind rest in ‘piss’. Dont mind my ‘oyinbo’ o. I do not want Maria Jacobu (that small girl) to right it for me. It is like she loves you.

Those ‘alakowe’s’ are husband snatchers sha! The first time i come to buy meat from you, i begged the gods to make you to love me. And i even wanted to tell you my mind but you dont want to come meet me. But thank the gods you have now come! I already love you. I like how you sell the meat, do the knives ‘sara sara’ before you cut the meat. You are the finest boy in the village with those ‘gberes’ that you have and I like it. I even want to ask if you too sells ‘shiken’?

Whenever those ‘alakowes’ come in their big cars to buy yam, i always hear them say ‘shiken’ and rice so i also will want to eat my rice with the shiken. Those Chelsea fans ehn, i hate them so much. When they did not win, they will be barking around. All they know is okada. Ehn ehn, tell Luku to take his time o. He is just so stupid and foolish. I dont even know why a Chelsea fan will be your best friend. That is pure “oriburuku”. From now, change to Arsenal because baba Agba: if baba Agba sees a tout, he is sure that person is a Chelsea fan. Those girls that like looking at you, dont look at them again ooo. You know that what you see in them,You know that I am beautiful and I’m a paraga apprentice. So if you try to look at other girls talkless of talking to them, I will kill you. That is the extent of my love for you. I have always slept on mats but sleeping on the bed that is like “fuke fuke” will be good. It will be good well well because my back, he will not pain me again from sleeping on the mat everytime everytime.

I also love you very much. But the problem is that that Iya Risika, the popilar paraga seller also likes you (shey you know she’s my oga). And if she knows we are lovers peren, she may kill me. I wont want us to be ‘see’ in public now. Let us meet under the mango tree near baba Agba’s house. When you are around just throw a stone to the roof. I will know that you are the one that half come. I love you very “mush”.

Your sweet
Sikira

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