As the administrator of paarapo, I had the opportunity of reading through and editing Adaora’s piece called: “What’s with the cookie anyway?”, and my first reaction evident by our bbm chat was that there are many of us who really are not bothered about the ‘cookie’. She agreed and said perhaps a man should write from a male perspective and this is an attempt at that.
In the first place, our generation has become so fond of nicknames that we have lost touch of some deep realities. There is deep meaning in the original names of certain phenomenon, such that when we rename them, they tend to lose their weight. The particular word in context here is called ‘SEX’ not ‘cookie’. I understand that it can sometimes be awkward to use that word but I believe there’s a reason why it found its way into the English Dictionary. However, for the sake of this write-up, let’s stick with the whole ‘cookie’ thing.
All through my years of understanding, I have always wanted a woman who would not be overshadowed by my image but one who will stand shoulder to shoulder with me. A woman I can introduce around in any gathering and who would get envious looks from other men not just because of her outer fairness but because of her inner beauty and the fact that no man had ‘known’ her.
That perhaps is the most important thing to me and second only to that is this: she must be a firebrand daughter of Zion who is as crazy about Jesus as I am. What’s my joy in knowing that a woman has cheaply given her cookie just to keep a man?
If I could have kept my ‘cookie’ (if there’s anything like that), why can’t she keep hers? I am a virgin and I’ve never been more proud to say this. #Jesus is obviously the reason for my being so even though my morality also agrees (you may say my morality is affected by #Jesus influence too),isn’t it a great thing for a man to discover that his bride has kept her ‘cookie’? Yes, there’s nothing more delightful to a groom as much as that.
Now, I have seen so much ironic and perhaps evil things: I have seen girls who having cheaply offered their ‘cookie’ to many biscuit lovers, end up with a man who chose to be chaste.
I have seen women who resisted all temptations to give away their ‘cookie’ only to end up with a man who has eaten so many ‘cookies’ that he couldn’t even tell the difference. One should never think that men will first of all look to settle with the cheerful ‘cookie’ giver. Men, no matter how much they have helped in stealing another man’s ‘cookie’ will still do their very best to search out that woman who jealously kept hers. Ladies should just take note of the fact that what all men have in mind is this: HE THAT FINDETH A WIFE FINDETH A GOOD THING AND OBTAINETH FAVOUR OF THE LORD,(even when many men are not good things themselves).
I think what women should also look out for is that ‘GOOD’ thing and ‘FAVOUR’ of the Lord).
Without bias, do you think that the cheerful ‘cookie’ giver is a good thing? A favour from the Lord? If he pesters you for the ‘cookie’, he most likely thinks that you are not a good thing because everything good takes time. So if he is not ready to wait for the TIME and the SEASON, I tell you Dear Girlfriend, its TIME to move on to greater things.
Am I saying that there ain’t pressure on the Girls or Ladies as the case maybe? No! The pressure on you is so much that sometimes I wish you could all be male but then, if that happened, man would have no companion.
The woman is not actually always about the cookie, she is about companionship, friendship, being and helping the ‘Helpmeet’. (Am I preaching? Yes! But I don’t care: its the truth).
There’s so much pressure on you but don’t pull the plug on yourself. Stop putting yourself under pressure. Stop throwing yourself at him.
Perhaps, the woman’s biggest problem is her fairy tale ‘cinderrelic’ mindset. You want to be swept off your feet but like my friend Oluwatelemi rightly noted, only Jesus can truly ‘sweep’ you off your feet. Yes, there will be a man who will love you for who you are, adore you and maybe worship you even,but will it be like those dreamy tales you read about? I really don’t think so.
So stop ‘loving up’ a man who you know is not realistic, a man who is more concerned about the cookie than your general welbeing, more concerned about lifting ‘the veil’ than lifting your soul. If he asks to lift your veil, tell him to go get a court order (by putting a ring on your finger and making the necessary vows before God, your friends and family). If he’s not gonna do that, then he has absolutely no jurisdiction to lift the veil.
Tell him to shut up and get out of your life. And if he refuses, shove him away.
There’s no need to dilly-dally; no need to think twice. If he can’t be patient with you, he will soon lose his patience with your sister who comes visiting; whether your sister is hot or not wouldn’t matter as long as the cookie is available.
So who wants the cookie anyway? You know that already! I speak the mind of those of us (and we are many) who have chosen to walk the path of asking for the cookie only when we have jurisdiction, having paid the price and obtained a court order. We are telling you to take note that until we do that, you should please remain ‘cookie-stingy’!
** Special appreciation to Adaora for the inspirational push to pen this.
Oluwatosin is a fiery young man who is learning on a daily basis to follow Jesus. Simple and friendly, he loves his pen and Arsenal FC. ff on twitter @tosinfat